I’m going to share something personal from my heart and real life. First, for those that don’t know me personally, I am a student of life, topics, and people – with an intense desire to help and succeed. I put a tremendous amount of pressure and guilt on myself because of this. That being said, to the public I am generally seen as sensitive, caring, and positive…at least I strive to be. But, behind closed doors, I struggle with my thoughts of failure and lack of accomplishment (I am obsessively goal-oriented!).
In the change of seasons for the last few weeks, I have contended with a down attitude, a feeling of heaviness, unable to rise above – some might label it depression. I needed to change my attitude, but I couldn’t see how or even what I needed. I share these insights because perhaps you can see yourself in some of these ramblings.
As I went to bed early one night, tired of the struggle, I asked the Lord (who I know lives inside me) to help me, because no matter the exercise, study, or diet, I still felt I was flying below the radar. The next morning as I awoke, I realized I had not danced and worshipped the Lord for quite a while. Oh, I prayed and studied, but just not danced before and for Him. I had not been truly worshipping Him.
Generally, I have observed that songs with words are distracting and, oftentimes, just whining about the singer’s personal situations, so I usually prefer instrumentals. This day, however, I needed someone else’s words to direct my thoughts, and the anointing landed on “I Come to Worship You” by Terry MacAlmon. That song, along with my eyes lifted and hands raised toward heaven, brought me up and out of myself and into the heavenlies!
Praise to my Lord! Hallelujah!!
This morning, I had planned to just move forward and exercise and study, going through the motions. But, since I was feeling better, I felt moved in the spirit to continue to worship. I went onto YouTube and found more of Terry MacAlmon’s videos, and I found “I Exalt Thee.” It was exactly more of what I needed, confirmed in video by the picture of waterfalls at the end (I love waterfalls!). I felt so joyful and free that I thought my chest would explode as tears came to my eyes! God used these simple videos to bring me out of the hole I had fallen into, to change my attitude. HE IS SO WORTHY!
This was perfect timing for me and a wonderful reminder. I know that worship changes my attitude yet when depressed it’s not what comes to mind. So blessed that God led you to write this to remind me. Feeling better already and I haven’t even started yet.