As I was walking around Lake Wilson one day, enjoying the Father’s creation, no thoughts of blessing someone in need – just telling Him how much I admire His handiwork, I suddenly had such an overwhelming desire for cream. I’m talking about the real stuff – heavy cream, cow’s cream, thick and sweet (part of my Shepherd’s diet) with my piping hot morning coffee. This is like a dessert for me, and I was out of it.
Now, the interesting thing is, it wouldn’t leave my mind. It was so out of my reasoning to make a special trip to the store this morning, because I would be right in that neighborhood in the afternoon. That being said, I fought strongly in my head as I felt the urge in my gut when I drove my little green car out of the parking lot and turned right toward town, instead of left toward home. I just wanted cream in my coffee! I decided to go for proximity rather than price, so I headed for the closest Food Lion grocery store, most probably visited three times since I moved to my North Carolina home nine years ago. I went into the store and found it… albeit a small size, but still the fulfilling of my craving. It was then that the adventure in the Spirit began, and I was, in hindsight, able to see how the Holy Spirit uses our normal lives and cravings to position us for His purposes.
The following scenario is not that big of a deal. It’s simply a story of being an answer to someone’s problem (very small, though very real) and being observant and obedient to the moves (hints) of the environment and heart. It came because I chose to slow down and concentrate on what my heart senses to do, rather than my head. And, I’ve been blessed ever since with the knowing deep inside myself that I CAN hear from God and BE obedient. So, I relay this escapade, not to brag, just to expose the simplicity of walking hand-in-hand with our God, and because we are His hands, feet, mouth, and provision.
When I approached the counter, the one open lane was currently occupied by a thin, older, life-worn gentleman attempting to pay for his purchase by counting his dimes and pennies onto the counter. His cashier announced, with a great deal of disdain, that he had to go to the car to get a dollar, as he shuffled painfully out the door. Again, the cashier spoke arrogantly from her perch of disgust that I needed to go to the other line – implying that this could take too much of her precious time.
As I placed my cream on the counter, I determined to give the gentleman a dollar when he came back in – I’ve been there many times in my life, when I searched change holders, under seats, in the glove compartment to get those final few coins. I believe the cashier was fighting hard to stay out of that position (or perhaps having a man in her life with similar drawbacks. I really don’t know, but what I do know is that when we humans act ugly, it normally comes out of our own fears. Because of the fear of what could be in our life, we feel disrespect for the possible mirror in front of ourselves. We don’t consider the story of what led people to where they are, such as this older gentleman and how he came to such a low point in his life.
It reminded me of my own arrogance at 17, when I packed my bags to spend the summer working in the poverty of the Appalachian Mountains, feeding the hungry, handing out clothes, and teaching Bible School. I remember vividly preparing to go help these obviously ignorant people who were destitute because they were lazy, because my Daddy said, “If you want money – work!” Praise God that I ended up reading the book “Light Comes to the Cumberlands” before I left for the mission field.
A revelation came to me that no one chooses to fail – they live in environments and among people who often times are totally detrimental, destructive, aggressive, and cruel because of their own Great Sadness. So, these people are like children who have been beaten down and have shattered hearts. Some survive and can learn how to escape the cage of emotional pain, but the majority simply freeze in their pain. The Native Americans say it so well, “Don’t criticize another unless you walk in his moccasins.” As Jesus told us – our job is not to judge, but to love. Sometimes, love comes in the most minor of ways allowing us the opportunity of simply blessing someone in need.
Eventually, the embarrassed elderly man was back at the counter counting as my cashier handed me my change — a $5 bill and a $10 bill, no $1s. The cashier rudely stated, ” That will be FIVE DOLLARS (as if he didn’t know). So, I thought, “God, you know my money has been funny lately and $5 is not easy to come by, but okay. So, I walked over to the little old man and gave him the $5 bill and said, “God bless you.” I then turned and left. Big deal!
It wasn’t the amount, or to tell you how wonderful I am. I share this simply to say – PRAISE GOD! He blessed me, considered me important enough to use in His plans for the day, and let me experience the joy of helping one of His people – a fellow human being in his struggle. I was blessed because I was an instrument for blessing someone in need!
As a side note, I was able to see my arrogant, judgmental self in the cashier and remind myself how important it is not to judge — JUST LOVE.