“There is no competition when there is mutual completion.” ~ T. D. Jakes
Have you experienced competition? I know we have all witnessed it on TV or on the sports field. On race tracks, we’ve seen people, horses, and cars vying for the lead. We’ve been entertained as each contestant pours all of their energy, knowledge, and tools (cars, horses, bodies, etc.) into the event.
That being said, I want to direct our attention to another place of competition which you may not have dealt with or fully recognized. This competition occurs in interpersonal relationships, too. It can be on the job or with our friends (that seems crazy, doesn’t it? This is commonly called a love-hate relationship.), with siblings, or a particularly tormenting relationship between spouses (with the very person with whom you’ve literally gotten naked! And yet, they compete with you trying to extinguish your flame.)
Each of these situations brings the ugly emptions of jealousy, bitterness, rebellion, envy, irritation, paranoia, disgust, anxiety, etc. You have probably experienced these reactions, although sometimes you may not know their source.
It is my theory that if each of us were self-confident and self-assured, through knowing and doing our own purpose, we would be able to accept and celebrate the achievements of those with whom we associate. It is the lack of self-worth that causes us to see the grass as greener on the other side of the fence…and oftentimes we want to kill it!
It is my proposal that if we were to honor our relationships – be they business colleagues, siblings, friends, or life partners – by truly listening, things would change. By putting our personal wants and needs on the back burner and deeply hearing their hearts, their desires, fears, and dreams, and then collaborate with them to become all they want to BE, these ugly emotions I mentioned earlier would completely dissipate!
The challenges that I observe in alliances is that they are imbalanced. One person is very strong and clear about where they want and need to go, and they tend not to understand that each person on earth is called to their own personal purpose. The strong person tends to be blind and deaf to the longings of the other. Even if they know their comrade’s aspirations, they tend to ignore or even stomp on those ambitions, considering them too cumbersome and distracting to their own pursuits. There are times when we need to put aside our ambitions and our ego, and think of others without being threatened.
True humility is not thinking less of myself, but thinking more of others. Partner with your associates in life’s ambitions. Don’t compete with them….help complete them!